Answers:
corona is a good beer...what a jape..
ummm..here is a few..
1.A pirate walks into a fishing rod and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and say "You know that you have a steering joystick in your pants"
The pirate replies "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts"
2.Grasshopper
A grasshopper walk into a bar, pulls up a stool, and directives a beer. The bartender pours him a tall, frothy mug and say "You know... we have a drink name after you." To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink name Bob?"
3.BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and outlandish.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and raining.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate cup so that open downfall points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and raining.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain roughly speaking house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is drizzly.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or chalice applied to wrong part of frontage.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
coors street lamp
A new priest at his first mass be so nervous he could scarcely speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, “When I am worried going on for getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a cup of beer next to the hose down glass. If I start to bring back nervous, I nick a sip.”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s guidance.
At the beginning of the sermon, he get nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to have a word up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following record on the door:
1)Sip the beer, don’t gulp.
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5)Jacob wager his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8)David slew Goliath, he did not see the sh*t out of him.
9)When David was hit by a rock and be knocked past its sell-by date his donkey, don’t say he be stoned off his ***.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the finishing supper he said, “Take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not voice “Eat me”.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary near the Cherry”.
13)The recommended grace before a dinnertime is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday in attendance will be a taffy pulling contest at ST. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.
Three guys are lost at sea contained by a life raft. One of them finds a strange looking bottle. He picks up the bottle, pulls out the cork, and a genie suddenly appears surrounded by the raft. The genie informs them that they will be granted one wish. One of the men, anyone extremely thirsty cries out " I wish adjectives this water be beer". "POOF" The entire ocean turns into beer! The other guys shout "YOU IDIOT!! Now we own to stay out here and we have to pee contained by the raft".
That's not a beer belly.. that's the fuel tank for my sex piece of equipment!!
"the best beer in the world is Budweiser."
rimshot!
What's more risky than beer muscles?
Beer brains!
What is the best kind of beer you can attain?
Cold, free!
It only take one beer to get me drunk..
I a moment ago forget if it is the 15th or 16th!
bud light
A polar undergo walks into a slab and orders a,"Beer........ a frosty mug please."
The bartender get it for him but asks,"What's with the big hold-up?"
The bear answers,"Don't know, my Dad have them too!"
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